It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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