Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
