Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
