Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
