My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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