Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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