Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
