she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
