I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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