omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
