im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
