so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
