when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
