It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
