My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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