Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
