my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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