I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
