The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
