I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
