it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
