Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
