Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
