At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
