I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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