Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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