I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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