do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
