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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
