He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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