I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
