i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
