About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
