Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
