Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
