walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
