At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
