The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i think i scared a bird with my dick
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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