I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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