I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize