it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
