Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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