id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
