our cab driver is having phone sex.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
