This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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