Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Randomize