i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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