Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Boobs speak an international language.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You need a sexual gate keeper
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Randomize
