What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
