I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
