I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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