I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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