Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
