You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize