I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
