Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
